Drawing Five:

do we really have to come out of here

Notes -
well
hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

i made some more pictures, and i am not too impressed with them. maybe i like this one ok...

the picture came to me days ago, and was astonishingly hard to draw and even harder to finish... partly because i flat out did not know how to draw what it was i was seeing in my mind, and partly because once drawn and colored it didn't look right and i had a very hard time figuring out just what was needed for it to feel satisfyingly complete

but...

i guess i thought they would blow me away, or that i would be impressed with them, or that i would be in awe - like i was with drawing #2 - or something.... but... i feel a sort of let down, deflatedness

anyway but i went ahead with them anyway, even when i saw that they were not taking shape in a way that really made me feel good about the words "artist" and "shirley" in the same sentence together. in fact, i began to feel somewhat demented as i was drawing them. demented and, yes, brave...

brave because i went ahead and finished them anyway, brave because i claim them anyway, brave because i did not try to fancy them up, or fix them up, or jack with the integrity of the idea in an attempt to make myself like them

one problem has become my dirth of colors. i need more colors. definitely need a larger variety. one strikingly absent color is gray... miss that gray... silver too... miss that one ...

and so another way i know i am brave is that i claimed them, named them, signed them, scanned them, and am now going to attach them to this email and i am going to send them. i wonder what you will see in them....

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