Drawing Four:
Notes -
i made another picture last night/this morning.
it didn't come out at all how i had planned...
lol
and while i think it may qualify as a part of the "what the inside of my heart looks like" series,
it wasn't actually inspired by that thought
what happened was
i got into my car after filling it up with gas at a gas station the other night
when i stopped for the gas it was still light
when i came out after paying and got into my car and drove off
it had suddenly (or so it seemed to me)
become dark
and i felt like i had stepped into an alternate reality
quite a different feeling from the one that manifested in the picture...
partly i think because i am limited on my use of color since i only have about 20 crayons
partly because i tried a way to illustrate it that didn't turn out as i had planned
so the effect was entirely different
however
that being said
it is what it is and the only thing that all this means is that i will be doing another one
real soon
maybe even tonight at work if its not too busy
i go in today at 3:30 so i may not be able to do much drawing
i finally understand how it is that artists do painting after painting of the same thing
over and over
trying it on
getting it out
until finally its out...
anyway i love the way you comment on my work
so
here it is
i have my own ideas about it and am really curious to know what you see.
About this blog
Several years ago I did a series of 99 drawings that I called Middle of the Night Art. That series, and the dialoge between my sister and myself brought me to a place where I finally began to really understand my art, my spirituality, and a sense of who I am in the world. I'm sharing the art and that dialogue here.
My sister's responses, as well as my own, are posted as comments. And I'd love to hear what anyone else has to say.
My sister's responses, as well as my own, are posted as comments. And I'd love to hear what anyone else has to say.
Check This Out!
Categories
- About Us (1)
- apple (1)
- Blue Plate Special (1)
- brick wall (2)
- broken open (2)
- car (1)
- coming out (2)
- Do we really have to come out (1)
- driving (1)
- Driving My Car Off The Road Into Nowhere (1)
- eating (2)
- fence (1)
- fish (3)
- food (2)
- gate (1)
- Gateway (1)
- growing (1)
- Inside My Heart (1)
- Leap and a Net Will Appear (1)
- net (1)
- night (1)
- Ooohh Nooo (1)
- plate (1)
- stake (2)
- swallowed (1)
- The Art Itself (2)
- Title Page (1)
- tree (2)
- Whoa Nelly That might hurt (1)
- worms (1)
6 comments
Comment by Grace on September 10, 2010 at 5:55 PM
Wow. Loved this one. I loved the hair, the hands, the leaves, the lightening, the dash board guages looking back at the watcher like eyes. I loved the way the leaves changed when the background changed from black to blue... Interesting how the arms and steering wheel combine to make a halo over this wonderful person's head. Now the feeling - it felt headlong somehow - more like taking off in an airplane than careening out of control. Is this piece portentious of what is going to happen to you with your art? There is a directness about the head, as if she is sitting foreward, impatient to get out there, somewhat electrified and daring all the fates. She could be saying - damn it all, I'm doing this!!! Even the light from the headlights seems to be grabbing at what is in front, what is to come...can't seem to get there fast enough... And, interesting too how the road just abruptly ends. It doesn't fall off a cliff at all - there is little sense that something bad is about to happen. It is almost a benign unknown, even with dark and lightening - there is just no road 'out there'. Perhaps that silver lining on the horizon is what makes this a bit exciting, even the tiniest bit optimistic in the face of what seems to be obvious oblivion. So, yes this picture is braver and more assured in tone than the observer expects - making it more curious and causing you to look longer and more than once. And of note, one of the thousand names of god is Rathangapanih - One in whose hand is a wheel - there are several other names that reference the wheel.
Comment by Shirley Twofeathers on September 10, 2010 at 5:57 PM
yes.
it does sort of grow on a person.
i like it more each time i look at it.
i noticed today that the sleeves look almost like
similar to
reminiscent of
the fish in the previous picture swallowing the bait
did you notice that?
i was not able to do any art tonight
as it was way too busy
back to back calls
but i have the idea in my head of what i am going to do
and it isn't another driving off the road one like i thought it would be
i am not sure if i will work on it tonight or not
depends on if i can sleep
if i can go to sleep now and i hope i can
it will be tomorrow before i can get started on it
i cant wait to do it
i am beginning to feel really good about these little pictures
like i finally am an artist
whatever that means
i think i finally understand something about being an artist
something that i had not understood before
i have these really neat pictures i stole off the internet from an artist name of Novoa
one in particular is of 3 or 4 black leopards walking through a field of daisies
and when i first saw it i wondered how on earth a person got an idea like that
it was cool and interesting and i had this passing thought that i would never be an "artist"
not really
not a real one like that
because i never had cool ideas like that
or if i did have a cool idea like that i would never be able to get it onto a canvas like that
and now
suddenly
i understand how it came to be on the canvas
and i know that i could have a cool and interesting idea
and that if i wanted to paint it i could
and it would come out just fine because i no longer care if it comes out "pretty"
and i could be content if it came out sloppy
and i wouldn't try to fix it and force it to be something all neat and tidy if it indeed turned out
to be more of a soupy mess
and conversely if i wanted a soupy mess and it came out all neat and tidy
well that would be ok too
and somehow this has all come about because i decided not to be afraid to draw an actual face into my mandala and low and behold the face came out really cool because it was so imperfect and suddenly i realize that i can draw
i can draw
wow
i didn't think i could
and when i started to work on that last little piece about driving off the edge of the road into nowhere i almost told myself that it would be impossible for me to draw myself driving
but then i decided that i would just sketch it out and if it looked stupid
well then maybe that would be fine
i probably do look stupid when i am driving my car off the road into nowhere
so i took all the pressure off
and voila
it came out kinda cool
not stupid at all
and so.....
interestingly enough
doing all that work on my sims recolors was hugely helpful
as i was immersed in art the whole time i was doing them
all kinds of different paintings and pictures went into my sims game
and that had some sort of subliminal effect that i cant quite explain and yet
i know that it had an impact
Comment by Grace on September 10, 2010 at 6:00 PM
All that is happening to you is happening to me. I feel like I discovered a real and mystical tool when I began to draw. I once read that some art school in Vienna begins with a class in which students must pick a subject and paint that one subject 100 times. I always wanted someone to asign such a thing to me, but absent the requirement and the person to please, I would never begin such an undertaking. I often thought about what subject I would choose and I never came up with any object that I thought I would never tire of rendering. Food for thought, and now I am open to the idea.
Yes, your sleeves and your fish - the lines you use the actual lines themselves are the language, or the vernacular. When you draw more and more, you suddenly recognize your vernacular, and then you begin to use it, exaggerate it, modify it, and expand it. I don't think it is possible to look at a drawing and not know some fundamental truth about the artist, and part of that truth is plainly evident in the style of our basic lines.
Comment by Grace on September 10, 2010 at 6:02 PM
Well, yes, your lines are like a signature - the sleeves and the fish - there it is - something so tangible about who you really are is wordlessly told in the lines. How can we look at a picture and not be moved to know each other - the artist - and god - the witness - so intimately? This is a remarkable medium - it creeps past the walls and words and the intellect and trickles into our very own consciousness. You are an artist now and finally, at long last, so am I and I am fundamentally changed for it. I have this core belief that when we are doing what we are supposed to do, we are finally past being rebellious against god and in that obedience we are healed from certain failings.
Comment by Grace on September 10, 2010 at 6:04 PM
I showed all four of your drawings to Siba. She is the supreme appreciator of art because she actually sees what she is looking at - rare indeed. Siba loved all of your work, but was especially drawn to driving my car and leap and a net will appear. On Leap, she said she loved the title, she loved the hand, she thought it was compelling to look at and she thoroughly examined and appreciated the fish's expression. In driving my car, she was struck as much by what you put in as by the things you left out - like the car - just the dash board and the lights and the steering wheel were perfect in communicating the entire experience - she was surprised you have not done more representational art before now, saying you are certainly capable of expressing yourself very truthfully. And these drawings must have stuck with her, because they have come up more than once in conversation. She called me yesterday to say she was reminded by your drawings of a researcher and writer whose entire body of work supports the notion that humans have a soul because we do art and art exists for no reason except to demonstrate the existence of soul. I am very hopeful you will stay encouraged - if anyone looks and doesn't see, or looks and sees just a picture, you have to remember that there are those of us who really see something, something important in what you are doing. People who can't see it for what it is are just an annoyance...
Comment by Shirley Twofeathers on September 10, 2010 at 6:05 PM
THANK YOU!
i am off to get hypnotized. will write more if i have time later, or in the morning.
i think i have sky excited about an art project of her own!
she saw only pictures in 3 of my little pieces, but was also very drawn to driving off the road, and almost couldnt stop looking at it and talking about it
i cant wait to do the next one
saskia is enthused about recoloring objects for the sims game which is a creative act and who knows what it might lead to
a web site maybe, which if popular and well traveled, could bring self esteem and a desire to venture further into the world at large
well gotta go right now
love shirley